At the funeral of Dana Seetahal SC two Thursdays ago, President Anthony Carmona quoted the 17th Century English poet, John Donne, who said: “Any man’s death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind.” Dana’s death certainly diminishes us. May her soul rest in peace.
The morning after her funeral, while we were all still reeling from the tragic loss of this bright star, we were greeted by the news that 13-year-old Devindra Boodoo, who was supposed to sit the Secondary Entrance Assessment (SEA) exam, was discovered by his 11-year-old sister, Nirmala, hanging in the bathroom of their home in El Socorro on the Wednesday evening. Nirmala, who was also due to sit the SEA exam, will be allowed to take a “make-up” exam at a later date. Let us offer our prayers for Devindra’s soul and for his family in their time of grief. The circumstances leading to his death had not been disclosed up to the time of writing this column.
The news brought to mind an incident that occurred during my first year of teaching in a Catholic boys’ primary school in London. One of the quiet boys in the school, whom I will call Donald, committed suicide. His mother, who was a ‘dinner lady’ at the school, discovered his lifeless body hanging in his bedroom at their home. Ten-year-old Donald was her only child.
It turned out that for years Donald had been bullied mercilessly by other boys in his class/school because he was perceived to be effeminate. His single mother believed that trying to ‘toughen’ him up to be a ‘man’ was the best way forward.
Paragraphs 2280 to 2283 of our Catechism tell us what our Church teaches about suicide. We read that “we are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us.” However, our Church recognises that “grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide. We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.”
Suicide is the 9th leading cause of death in the United States. An article by Richard Charan in the Trinidad Express on December 23, 2011, stated that “According to statistics provided by the Police Service Crime and Problem Analysis Branch, almost 700 people have committed suicide in T&T since 2002.” He reported that in 2010 there were 88 suicides and 83 in 2011 and that “statistics show that more males than females and more younger persons are killing themselves. The reasons, police said, were most times complex issues related to depression, mental illness, terminal illness, spousal and sexual abuse and addiction to alcohol or other drugs.”
Read Michelle Loubon’s article “Youth at risk for suicide” (Trinidad Guardian, September 26, 2011 – www.guardian.co.tt/news/2011/09/25/youth-risk-suicide. She lists warning signs, such as: “…depression, feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, feelings of being trapped in a life one can’t handle, divorce of parents, violence in the home, inability to find success at school, feelings of worthlessness, rejection by friends or peers, substance abuse, death of someone close to the teenager, the suicide of a friend or someone he or she ‘knows’ online, talks about death and/or suicide (maybe even with a joking manner), plans ways to kill himself or herself, expresses worries that nobody cares about him or her, has attempted suicide in the past, dramatic changes in personality and behaviour, withdraws from interacting with friends and family… spends time online interacting with people who glamourise suicide and maybe even form suicide pacts.”
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Parishes should establish ministries to reach out to individuals/families who are ‘burdened’ and offer support/comfort. Jesus said: “Come unto Me, all you who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will give you rest.” Sometimes individuals may feel that their burdens are so heavy that they can’t bear them. Let us pray for discernment that we will observe the needs in our communities and respond as true witnesses to Christ. In the Beatitudes we read: “Blessed are those who mourn, they shall be comforted.” Let us fight individualism and selfishness and open our hearts to those in need.
“Bless, O God of eternal life, all who have died by their own hand.
Grant them peace from their inner turmoil and the compassion of your love.
Comfort those who mourn their loved ones…
Help us to reach out in love to others who prefer death to the choices of life and to their families who grieve. Amen.”
(Adapted from “Prayers of Our Hearts” © 1991 Vienna Cobb Anderson)
