“Christians are people who have been conquered by Christ’s love and accordingly, under the influence of that love…they are profoundly open to loving their neighbour in concrete ways… faith precedes charity, but faith is genuine only if crowned by charity.” (Pope Benedict XVI, 2013 Lenten Message).
These words from The Holy Father’s 2013 Lenten message should spur us on to demonstrate our love for God and neighbour by reaching out to assist children and their parents. The Holy Father focuses on “the indissoluble interrelation” between faith and charity. His message is entitled “Believing in charity calls forth charity”.
“Faith”, he says, “is a gift and response, it helps us know the truth of Christ as the incarnate and crucified Love, full and perfect obedience to the Father’s will and God’s infinite mercy towards others…charity helps us enter into the love of God manifest in Christ, and joins us in a personal and existential way to the total and unconditional self-giving of Jesus to the Father and to his brothers and sisters… The entire Christian life is a response to God’s love…
“The Christian life consists in continuously scaling the mountain to meet God and then coming back down, bearing the love and strength drawn from him, so as to serve our brothers and sisters with God’s own love… Faith without works is like a tree without fruit: the two virtues imply one another…essentially, everything proceeds from Love and tends towards Love.”
Love is the answer. At a recent workshop organised by Women Working for Social Progress, entitled: “Parenting for Peace”, I met Wendell Grant, a single parent for 16 years and a member of Single Fathers Association of T&T (www.sfatt.org). Rhondall Feeles, the founder of SFATT says the goal is to get justice for both parents. In an Express article in September 2012, he said that the organisation “wants to help single fathers who would like more responsibility in their children’s lives.”
He believes that “if fathers would only be allowed an opportunity to be a part of their children’s lives, the crime rate would drastically decrease… The court has now become a house of revenge for relationships gone sour. The time for this to end is now and fathers and mothers need to begin cooperating for the sakes of our children.”
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Another member, Dexter Mahadeo, has asked CCSJ to support their work. He wrote me saying: “Please note that we do not ascribe to separation as a solution to any couple’s problems. Rather, I agree with the statement that the best thing a parent can do for a child is love his/her spouse. However…the reality is that in many instances this relationship crumbles for whatever reason – a lack of God, selfishness of one or both parties, a lack of commitment – who knows? We are not to judge. Still, a child is brought into this world; a child who deserves love and nurturing from both parents and both parents’ families, if possible…We are all God’s hands. Let us start healing the nation, even it be one child at a time.”
Wendell gave us a handout at the recent workshop. It struck a chord in my heart. Inter alia, it states: “We ask you to search your hearts…see what unnecessary separation is doing to the lives of children who love their fathers; and fathers who love their children in return and want to share that responsibility.
“We are not all ‘dead-beats’. Many of us have been pushed away as a form of punishment. In such cases, the children are the ones who are being punished the most…Help stand up for the innocent children of this nation. Give them back their fathers. Support the cause.”
In December 2012, the UK media reported that a survey of 2,000 parents/consumers at Westfield Shopping Centre, London, found that the 10th most popular Christmas list request this year for children aged 3 to 12 was ‘a dad’ …A request for a mum’ reached number 23 on the list.” A new baby brother or sister was at the top of the Christmas list.
Children need both parents in their lives. My cousin, Nadja Singh, worked for a number of years in London with a charitable organisation called Families need Fathers (www.fnf.org) She has shared with me some sad experiences about fathers who have been denied access to play a nurturing role in their children’s lives.
Remember, during Carnival, to maintain your God-given dignity: modesty in dress and behaviour. Happy Carnival.
