by Leela Ramdeen
On Sunday the nation will observe Father’s Day. Father’s Day is a celebration of love. It is a day when we show appreciation for our fathers and our gratitude for the role they play in our lives. Indeed, it is a day when we thank God for the gift and the vocation of Fatherhood. We must never take our fathers for granted.
Being a man does not make a man a father. Wilhelm Busch rightly said: ‘To become a father is not hard, to be a father is, however.’ Responsibility does not end at conception. We all recognize, however, that fathers face many difficulties and struggles. It was George Herbert who said: ‘One good father is worth more than a hundred school principals.’
While wishing all the fathers here a happy Father’s Day, I ask you to think about the role you are playing in your children’s lives. There are thousands of good, decent, caring fathers in T&T, who provide positive role models for their children and their communities. Sadly, though, many children either do not know who their father is, or do not have their fathers in their lives. Thousands live in one-parent families led by single mothers. Domestic violence is rampant all strata of society. The social ills that beset family life in T&T are many. It is because of this that we need to play our part in promoting effective fatherhood.
Fathers can be important contributors to their children’s lives. The mental health and well-being of children are dependent on the presence or absence of a number of variables that have a powerful impact on their lives. The presence/positive involvement of fathers, just like mothers, is one variable that always matters.
What are the hallmarks of a good father? A good father takes his parenting role and his parenting obligations seriously and makes responsible choices; he loves his children (and his wife/partner), lives with integrity, is involved in the lives of his children, spends time with his family – many fathers continue to balance their personal, work and family time, a good father shows affection, is responsive to his children’s needs, contributes to his children’s confidence, competence, emotional, intellectual and social well-being, provides supervision, exercises non-coercive discipline, and generally serves as a role model of positive behaviours.
Dr Alton Kaul rightly said: “A father is a special blend of hero – a friend; someone to look up to; someone to model; someone with a touch of the ‘mother’ in him; someone who lives the kind of life that makes you want to say: ‘I too shall follow him.’”
As we all know, no one is perfect, but these qualities can inspire all fathers to achieve greater heights. The future of T&T and the world depends on strong families. Committed fathers are essential to the growth and development of families. Many children who grow up without a father’s love and guidance suffer in myriad ways. Let us encourage fathers to take an active and positive role in their children’s lives.
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It is said that there are 2 lasting bequests that one must give to one’s children. One of these is roots, the other is wings. But, like mothers, fathers never retire from family life. All you fathers should continue to be important mentors to your children and your grandchildren. Instill in them positive values. Prepare the boys/men for fatherhood.
As for each of us, let us work with our Government to build strong foundations so that the boys in our society, who may become fathers in the future, will learn to respect themselves and others, particularly women, some of whom may become the mothers of their children. We need to help form our future fathers early o’clock.
The breakdown of family life in T&T is rampant. Let us reach out to fathers and their families and create conditions that will enable them to live their lives in dignity and undertake their duties and responsibilities effectively.
I wish all the fathers here today a Happy Father’s Day on Sunday – and indeed, every day. May your hearts be rooted in love for your children and your families. Thank you.
“F” aithful.
“A” lways there.
“T” rustworthy.
“H” onouring.
“E” ver-loving.
“R” ighteous.
“S” upportive. Author Unknown
